As a woman thinketh…..

The text came in the middle of the Sunday gathering.   “There’s a huge Copperhead at the foot of the porch, should we kill it?”  Half of it lay hidden making it hard to crush the head.  My son-in-law had no choice but to take the shovel and cut its body in two.   One half lay detached aware of its death. The remaining half, containing the head, slithered away oblivious of its reality.  The head didn’t yet grasp that it’s body was dead.

The Spirit within me quickened as my husband explained to me the phenomena that had just taken place.  The snake was dead, it just didn’t know it.

That one event explains the bulk of my existence.  I was dead in Christ yet I was clueless to my actuality.   I was encouraged to manage my sin, be holy, make him proud, do the right thing.  Everything, everywhere was about behavior.   I can understand why.  When I don’t understand the reality of what took place when Jesus said “it is finished” I can only focus on behavior.  It becomes the barometer of my spirituality.

There’s a cliché that was often spoken throughout the years of my church upbringing.  “I need to get it from my head to my heart.”  How does one do that anyways?  How does one get the mind to convince the heart?  Isn’t it the other way around?   After all God said  He would put a new heart with a new spirit in me.  Isn’t it the programming of the mind that is all screwed up? Doesn’t the mind need to conform to what has already happened?

I spent the better part of my life assessing who I was based on what I had done.  It’s not the way things go down in His world.  He sees the person at heart, not the action.  He knows who I am.   The question is, do I believe what He believes? Doesn’t it all come down to this.  Do I really think what He thinks, about me?

Jesus speaks to a crowd.  He tells them that to know Him is to know the Father for He speaks just what the Father has taught Him.  He tells them that if they remain in what He speaks they too will be taught.  For they will know the truth and the truth will set them free.

I was taken back the first time someone told me to ask God what He thought about me.   What if He doesn’t have anything to say?  What if I all I hear are crickets chirping in the deafening silence?  It’s a scary place to step into, much like jumping off the side of the pool hoping that someone will be there to catch you.   But one never knows what it feels like to be caught until they jump.

I took the plunge.  I needed to know what He thought of me.  I had been ashamed of who I was for as long as I could remember.  I felt as if I was not enough and too much all at the same time.  Things I had perceived about myself  became the focal points of conversations with Him.  Did He think these things too?  If not, what did He think?

He began rewriting the story of my life as He spoke.  I began to listen.  I found myself overwhelmed at the thought of it all.  Could it possibly be true that I was who He said I was?

My head has been learning to grasp the truth of my heart.  Jesus has made me right.  He has pronounced me as holy, godly, and pure.  I don’t have to try to be holy, I already am.  I am a joint-heir with the Son of God, what He inherits, I inherit.  I am a new creation.  I have the mind of Christ, the Spirit of the living God, given as a seal, is woven into my very being.  I am the righteousness of Christ, even on my worst day.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, changes that.

It all comes around full circle. Will I choose to believe what He says or will I believe what I feel?    Will I let my past define me or will I step into my reality.  Do not dwell on the past He reminds me… see I am doing something new.  Will I see?  Will I embrace what He speaks and be taught.  It is the choice of life or death, freedom or captivity.  It’s where the rubber meets the road, you know.

For as a man thinketh so is he….

©copyrighted 2011, Julie L. Todd
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15 thoughts on “As a woman thinketh…..

  1. Funny that you used that statement in this blog….as I had this very conversation with God just this week. I kept praying and begging Him to help me get the knowledge from my head to my heart. I didn’t know how to do it. I was frustrated and overwhelmed. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and encouragement. They truly are a blessing.

    • Kara, I spent the better part of my life trying to figure out how to get it from my head to my heart… begging with God, pleading, longing for it to happen. Now as I’ve been learning more and more about this finished work of Christ I realize it’s already in my heart. My head needs to be transformed, renewed, changed by the truth that Jesus says… It’s changing my world. Thank you for being here. It truly is a blessing for me!

  2. This journey, I love.

    Your heart, along with Jesus, I love.

    These words, I love.

    Our Father, I love.

    All of this is worthy of shouting off the mountaintops! So many in bondage and they don’t even know it. It’s like my Bryan, who drank like a fish and once he quit, within months he would say, “I didn’t really know I felt bad. I thought the way I was feeling was normal.” Right, it is not until we are freed that we see the severity of our bondage.

    Thank you for sharing your journey, your heart, this Father!

    I love you!

  3. Julie,

    The love relationship between us and Jesus is a beautiful thing… He loves us so perfectly!

    I rejoice over the way Christ is freeing your heart!

    Love you,
    Amy

    • Amy, you have watched much of my journey and loved me well through it. You have always been a huge source of encouragement. I am so grateful. Thank you for being here. Love you!

  4. Julie, this is a great picture of life as a believer. Believing on the one hand I am totally changed into a new creation. On the other hand there is this dead thing crawling around still able to inject poison into my life. I am not made to handle sin, but thankfully Christ did, and continues to work with me through those issues.

  5. Well, you did it again. Another beautiful word picture. I’m hanging it along with the others in my heart. Very good. I love you, Mom

  6. Julie, my dear, I am coming to love you. Therefore I will admit that I had to quit reading this post and come back to it more than once because it started with the snake story. Augh! I have a little history with snakes, so it took me a moment. Once I got past that, it was fascinating. I don’t recall ever hearing that I should just ask God what He thought of me. Novel. I’ll have to try it.

    • Carolyn, What a gift your words are to me.. Thank you …. I can’t wait to hear how your time with God goes when you ask Him….. Thank you for being here, you truly bless me.

      Julie

  7. Shalom Julie…

    This post spoke two different things to me. It’s difficult to wrap one’s mind around everything that He did on the cross and how everything really was finished! It’s difficult to grab hold and know that it isn’t just a concept but is in fact, fact!

    But what really stood out in this post was/is a stark reminder of what some of us miss out on. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. When one is in a wrestling match with God and not being still and listening, the important life giving conversation is missed. Thanks for reminding me of Whom is waiting to have that special relationship with Him.

    • Josiah, so good to hear your story. It is so difficult to wrap my mind around the truth of what was done at the resurrection of Jesus… He finished the work, walked out of the old straight into the new… and took us with Him. It’s hard for the mind to comprehend sometimes.

      Thanks for being here and offering your heart…

      Julie

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