“He calls me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail.” “And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand.”
“Your grace abounds in deepest waters, Your Sovereign hand will be my guide” “Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You’ve never failed, You won’t start now.”
“So I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves” “When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace, For I am yours and you are mine.”
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you will call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” ©Hillsong United “Oceans”
What a year this has been with twists and turns I never anticipated. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined both my husband and I would be unemployed at the same time. In June, David was left with no option but to leave his job due to an unethical situation. In July God closed the door on mine.
David was given a job, 2 months into his unemployment, at a pay rate much less than was needed. I started a company of my own that is financially unpredictable. When each month begins I have no idea what my income will be.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have seen myself starting this business. It’s not like me to throw caution to the wind and step out in uncertain financial waters. Yet there was a yearning deeply implanted in me that drove me forward. He called me out upon the waters to find Him in the mystery of it all.
Money has always been one of my greatest struggles. Having too much money is not what I battle, it’s the fear of how it will all work out when it doesn’t appear we will have enough. My mind starts the calculations of the bills versus the income and what it comes up with troubles me. How can it possibly all work? The fear takes over so easily and I begin to falter. I become like Peter who sank into the waters as the great wind and waves captured his attention.
So much of what we walk through in our lives is beyond our understanding and yet God knows exactly where we are. He knows the good that will come out of the unchartered waters of this life. He invites us out upon the waters where great unknowns dwell. He knows we will find Him in the mystery. In that mystery, we start to get a sense of our true belonging. This is my story.
It’s been about 5 months since I stepped out. Each month I wonder how it will all work out. My feet falter and I get afraid. But that’s the beauty of it all. It’s in those moments of fear He surrounds me and I allows me to see this beautiful grace.
He picks me up and holds me close as He whispers, “Jewel, do you trust me?”
It’s much like the conversations I have with my sweet 5-year-old grand girl. I find her worried and agitated about something. I listen to her with the knowledge that it’s all going to be OK. I can see the bigger picture that she is unable to see. I reassure her that I will take care of her and this thing that scares her. She sits unsettled until the moment when her choice has to be made. “Aviah, will you trust me?” “Do you believe MeMe will take care of you?” As she answers back “yes, MeMe, I trust you” the door is opened for her faith in me to grow. She begins to see that I am hers and she is mine.
So it is with me, and with you.
Jesus stands beside me, with His arm wrapped around me. There sits the checkbook and the list of bills. We pick it up and look at it all together as He whispers, “It’s OK, Jewel, I’ve got this” “will you trust me?” It’s the moment of choice that makes the difference. “Yes, Jesus, I can trust you.” The door opens for my faith to be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
As I am with Aviah, He is with me. I am His and He is mine.
Every month I am amazed at what He does. His grace abounds in deepest waters. His Sovereign hand will be my guide. He’s never failed. He won’t start now.
This is the promise of God to me, to you, to us all.
©copyrighted Julie L. Todd 2016