The saying goes something like this, “God is good all the time, all the time, God is good.” It’s easy to say when the stars align allowing everything to sync perfectly in place. But in those moments when the brokenness of this world hits, how easily do the words escape my mouth?
I’ve often asked my children. “Do you trust God is good because of what you see Him doing or because of who He is?” It’s easy to ask the question. It’s hard to answer sometimes.
When life falls apart, things break down, jobs get lost and money doesn’t come, where is God anyways? How does one see the goodness of God in the land of the living when the living just doesn’t appear too good? It’s the question I’m faced with these days.
We heard the call of God calling us out of our wilderness. We had been there 6 years. We found things harder than we had imagined they could be in that little town. Disappointment was a frequent visitor. A job ended, a church closed it’s door, promised relationships didn’t turn out like we thought they would. Tears flowed freely in the days and nights. I was ready to move on after the first two years. Yet God said, “wait”… so we waited until the day came. We knew where we were headed.
We put our house on the market but no one called. It caused us to start looking for work. Jobs opened for both of us with ease in the same week. We packed our house to move, renting a house here. We left the sign in the yard in hopes that now vacant, it would surely go. We said goodbye to the mountains of Georgia and entered the state of Tennessee.
It wasn’t long before the path took a different bent. Suddenly David’s job opportunity fell through, leaving us unable to support one house, let alone two. It wasn’t long before a level of doubt entered causing us to wonder if somewhere along the way we had missed something.
I’m reminded again of stories of old. The children of Israel had their times of questioning.
They were captive in a land called Egypt. They had their homes, friends and families but not their freedom. After many times of confrontation the time came for Pharoah to let them go. They filed out of Egypt one by one. It wasn’t long after their feet hit the free ground that the questioning began. Things were different from what they expected. They wanted to go back to captivity. At least they knew what they had there.
Freedom often leads you into new territories where unexpected things come upon you. Wouldn’t it be easier to go back where you were? Where is God in this anyways?
I don’t understand why things happen the way they do. Why God allows a door to be opened and then slammed shut on you? Why doesn’t it look like we are walking anywhere near where He is? Not one person has looked at our house in almost 4 months, not one. It’s a nice house in a nice area of town, price dropped $30,000 from its appraisal. It just doesn’t make sense to the sensible mind. One small income to support two houses? How does that happen? Had we known that would we have left?
So is He good all the time… all the time He is good? The temptations are there to doubt it all. Fear tempts you to throw in the towel and run right back. But somehow, someway His hand keeps you.
I watch the birds flying around me. I’ve noticed them more since my friend encouraged me to. Yesterday one came and perched itself right in front of me on the rail where I was sitting. It twisted its head around to look at me as if to say, “do you see me here?” No matter how much I spoke to it, it would not be startled. I knew in that moment it was more than a happenstance. It was a gift, a reminder.
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
He is with us. He is before us. He is behind us. It’s not seen in the things this world brings. It’s simply the truth of His very nature.
I make the choice to stake my life on it all as the threat of losing our house becomes very real, and credit card debt rises from the need to pay our bills. He must be good. He cannot be otherwise.
The birds have no cares because they know. I hear them singing in the night sky and am reminded once again to sing the song that lay dormant in my heart. “God is so good, He’s so good to me.”
©copyrighted: Julie L. Todd 2013
My Long and Winding Road 