I entered this world 53 years ago. A few days after, I entered the doorway of the church. It was where I would grow up, where I would first be told about God’s love that forgave my sins. In the 3rd grade the Sunday School teacher told me about Jesus dying to take them away. She emphasized the need to accept Him so that I might enter into heaven where I would live forever. I didn’t really understand what I was doing but I surely knew I didn’t want to spend eternity in hell. I said yes. Little did I know it would be years before I would really accept His invitation to exchange my life for his.
I was 23 when I got to that place of desperate need. Having just been rejected after a 1 1/2 year dating relationship, I begged Him to love me. He said yes.
Though I had heard about God and His love for all those years it was at that moment that I really understood my need for Him. It wasn’t long before I was given a list of “do’s and don’t’s” by well-meaning Christians. I really didn’t understand that it would be my demise. I had no clue that I would take the list and become a capable, self-made, religious woman of God.
At 25 I married my husband. A desire of my heart was fulfilled as each of my 5 children entered my world one by one. The love that leapt within my soul took my breath away. Yet still something was missing. I’d learned to put on the mask to play the part of the Proverbs 31 woman, the more I did the more I needed to do. I passed that along to my children. It is one of the great regrets of my life.
And then God came…..
He allured me into the wilderness to speak tenderly to me. I no longer call Him, Master, I now call Him, Husband. I’ve been on a journey, walking out of a religion into a relationship for these past 9 years. The world has opened before me as I’ve begun to discover a love that takes my breath away.
For years I thought the journey was the destination. I’m learning that the destination IS the journey. I invite you to join me on my long and winding road into the heart of love.